Left, Right, and Centered

Charlie Sheen: Apparently Consuming Vast Quantities Of Cocaine Really IS Dangerous February 25, 2011

They say that money talks and bullshit walks, but CBS has finally decided that there isn’t enough money in all of Hollywood to keep putting up with Charlie Sheen’s bullshit.  Charlie is having a full scale ten megaton nuclear meltdown right before our eyes.

First Charlie called into “The Alex Jones Radio Show” to rant about Chuck Lorre, the producer and head writer of “Two And A Half  Men”.  He called Lorre a “worm” and a “clown” and referred to him as “Chaim Levine”, bordering on Mel Gibson-esque anti-semitism.  (Lorre’s original name is Charles Levine.)  Somewhere else in the show, Sheen referred to himself and the interviewer as “Vatican assassin warlocks”, while at the same time denigrating Alcoholics Anonymous and claiming that he had cured his own addictions in “a nanosecond” with his own mind.

Later, TMZ.com caught up with Charlie in the Bahamas, asking for some clarification.  Charlie is there vacationing with the new love of his life, Natalie “Natty Baby” Kenly, who is apparently the cover girl for the magazine “Cali Chronic X” (for those of you still mired in the lingo of the last century, “chronic” is a recent euphemism for marijuana).

Charlie was also vacationing with Bree Olson

2008′s winner of AVN’s “best anal sex scene”, who has a lot of other pictures I thought would be better left unposted…but you can still find them here (if you happen to be some kind of salacious perv).  Twenty million bucks an episode will not only buy you a lot of drugs, but a lot of friends…even if Charlie refers to such “friends” as disposable “turds”, which he does.  Class guy.

Anyway, when TMZ talked to Charlie in the Bahamas, Sheen went on to describe Chuck Lorre, his boss, as a “pussy punk” and said he’d like to fight him in an “octagon”.

Hey, it’s a good thing Charlie took the cure.  I’d hate to think what sort of things he might be saying if he was still turning his brain into vegetable puree on an daily basis.  I’m sure he’s having nothing stronger than pineapple juice and broiled mahi-mahi down in the islands…

BW