I’ll See Your Toast And Raise You A Bagel December 31, 2011
Posted by Benjamin Wendell in Politics.add a comment
Predicting that Ron Paul and Newt Gingrich will both fail to gain the GOP nomination isn’t exactly like betting that the Packers get beat in the first round of the playoffs. If you assume that Republican voters want to actually retake the White House, as opposed to just sending some kind of bizarre message, they’ve got to nominate a moderate, and the only one they have at the moment is Mitt Romney.
Meanwhile, here’s an interesting thought to contemplate:
Why Liberals Should Seriously Consider Ron Paul
The man has a point. Paul would like to get us out of all our wars and not start any new ones, legalize drugs, end the death penalty, close Gitmo, and repeal The Patriot Act. Of course, he’d also like to get rid of the Department of Education, the Civil Rights Act of 1964, the EPA, Roe v. Wade, and the Federal Reserve. As my old buddy Marty used to tell me in med school, nothing is ever a 10.
BW
Predictions December 31, 2011
Posted by Cory Franklin in Uncategorized.add a comment
So is Ron Paul -it will just take a little longer
Predictions December 31, 2011
Posted by Cory Franklin in Uncategorized.add a comment
Newt Gingrich is toast
Celebrities Behaving Badly: Year End Wrap-Up December 30, 2011
Posted by Benjamin Wendell in Entertainment, Scandals.add a comment
It didn’t require much thought or contemplation to decide on the winner of the 2011 LRC Best Blog-Fodder Award. Without further ado:
It’s not so much the “winning”, “tiger blood”, “adonis DNA”, or “godesses”. It’s blowing off a job that pays a million bucks a week for a half hour’s work by insulting the guy who writes your paycheck with an anti-semitic epithet. Congratulations, Charlie, you perfectly fabulous lunatic.
Sadly, Mel Gibson was excluded from the competition since his meltdown occured in 2010, but in consideration of the startling depth and breadth of his contributions in the areas of rude, tasteless,boorish, racist, and misogynisitic behavior, the academy has awarded Mel a lifetime acheivement award, which comes with the promise to never attend any movie he produces, directs, or appears in, even if he offers a ten minute baby-oiled nude girl/girl scene featuring Scarlett Johannsen and Jessica Biel (ok, fine…maybe then, but only on DVD, and I’m fast-forwarding through the rest of it).
Meanwhile, it’s been a very busy week for the beautiful people. Hook-ups and break-ups galore, the usual musical beds of the rich and somewhat famous. Inquiring minds want to know, and I’m here to help.
Sinead O’Connor and Barry Herridge Divorce After 18 Days
Said the ex-Mrs. Herridge, “I just looked at him in the light one day and discovered he has a really big funny looking head, like bleedin’ ET or something. And it turned out that he wasn’t nearly the rump ranger I’d bargained for, so this was best for everyone.” (Totally false.) All I know is that if she had long black hair instead of a shaved head, a bigger booty, and names that all began with “K”, this would be a bigger story by 54 days.
The aforementioned Mel Gibson’s divorce from his wife Robyn is final. If Jesus found some time off from fucking with Tim Tebow, He probably made sure that Mr. Devout had to pony up more than half his $900 million fortune to his long-suffering spouse. Hallelujah and amen.
Hugh Heffner and his ex, Chrystal Harris, are fighting over custody of Charlie, a King Charles spaniel. Heff thinks it’s only equitable that he gets the dog. It’s not so much that Harris kept the ring and the Bentley. Said Heff, “Fair’s fair. She took the pussy, so I should get the puppy.” (Totally fabricated, and quite possibly actionable.)
Fast approaching sell-by date: Russell Brand and Katy Perry spent Christmas apart and both were spotted without their wedding rings. Hurry up, guys. I had one year in the office pool.
Getting right back up on the whorse: Ashton Kutcher was spotted hanging out with screenwriter Lorene Scafaria in Italy. And Demi Moore was seen at several high schools in Southern California, checking out the graduating seniors. (Shockingly totally false.)
In happier news, Lady Gaga has been getting cozy with Taylor Kinney, reportedly bunking at his beach house, which looks like this:
Which might explain why Gaga just released a track from her new album, “Born This Way”, called “Stuck On Fuckin’ You”. (That one’s totally true.)
In even more joyous tidings, Matthew McConaughey is engaged to girlfriend Camila Alves, which is all the more touching, given that they have two children together. Reportedly McConaughey is giving her a Mercedes convertible for a wedding gift and she’s giving him soap on a rope. (Yes, I made that up.)
And slap me upside the head and call me a hopeless romantic, but I just get all warm and fuzzy when I hear that Rihanna and Chris Brown are exchanging endearing tweets. Which gives me an excuse to post this pic:
Ri Ri should be careful with those tatts, or she’ll end up like Megan Fox, who is reportedly not tolerating her laser removal of her Marilyn Monroe tattoo very well.
Not to worry. If she leaves it in place long enough it’ll morph into Golda Meir.
In more romantic news, Michael Jordan is engaged to Yvette Prieto. If Mike runs true to his rumored Chicago form, Yvette should start checking his cell phone on a weekly basis and carefully review the monogamy clause in the pre-nup. Also, Debra Messing is dating her co-star on “Smash”, Will Chase, just ten days after announcing the divorce from her husband. Seems like a decent interval. In more positive news, Robert DeNiro and Grace Hightower just had a baby girl. The really shocking aspect to the story is that DeNiro and Hightower are MARRIED…like more than nine months before the birth and everything. All of Hollywood stands in awe. Rachel Uchitel, late of Tiger Woods, is also five months pregnant, if only three months married…better late than never.
But I saved the best for last: In “Dark Secrets”, a biography of Richard Nixon by former White House correspondent Don Fulsom, the author claims that Tricky Dicky had a homsexual affair with his mobbed-up Florida banker buddy, Bebe Rebozo.
This is good news and bad. It just means that what Satan is undoubtedly doing to Nixon in hell…Nixon is enjoying.
Happy New Year.
BW
Shock Of Shocks – Britain Rejoins U.S. December 30, 2011
Posted by Cory Franklin in Uncategorized.add a comment
Just Remember 11 Months To Go December 29, 2011
Posted by Cory Franklin in Uncategorized.add a comment
Before the election.
Lots can happen.
Campaign Update: Department Of Wishful Thinking December 29, 2011
Posted by Benjamin Wendell in Politics.add a comment
With the horror show/circus over on the GOP side, Obama’s chances of re-election are looking rosier by the day. The unemployment numbers, even if illusory, are finally a hair below 9% and Obama’s approval ratings are back near 50%. The truly bizarre and clearly unqualified Republican candidates are falling by the wayside or fading into blissful obscurity. The brief Herman Cain infatuation seems as distant a memory as the OJ trial. Michele Bachmann seems to be hanging around just for the carnival food and the Iowa sightseeing. Newt came and went like an adulterer scurrying out a back window at the sound of the husband’s car in the driveway. Rick Santorum has had a mild surge in the latest polls, but that still only puts him in double digits, and really…Rick Santorum?
Basically, that leaves the Republicans with Mitt Romney and Ron Paul, unless the skies open up and a voice from above declares that Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, or Sarah Palin is God’s chosen candidate. Ron Paul isn’t even really a Republican. He’s a hard core Libertarian, and even at the risk of re-electing the Kenyan Socialist, most Republicans could never stomach him or his policies. Still, there’s a fair chance that Paul might decide to run as a third party candidate, which would have the same result.
That leaves us with Mitt Romney, who has managed to avoid sounding stupid by not saying much of anything. The big GOP knock against him is that he’s “not conservative enough”, which is to say that he doesn’t necessarily believe that life begins when a good Christian man achieves an erection and a good Christian woman says, “Turn off the lights and get under the covers”, or that the penalty for being gay ought to be lethal injection. When all is said and done, he’s probably the only clown over there at Ringling Brothers, Rove, and Koch who has a snowball’s chance of actually getting a majority of Americans to pull the lever for him.
But never fear, the Democrats may have a secret weapon. In a blog post on today’s Huffington Post, Robert Reich, late of the Clinton administration, boldly predicts that in 2012, Hillary Clinton will be the vice presidential candidate, positioning her for her own run in 2016, and Joe Biden will be relegated to Secretary of State, at which position he will no doubt amuse and infuriate my blogmate for the next four frustrating years. How cool would that be?
BW
Point By Point By Point December 29, 2011
Posted by Benjamin Wendell in Politics, religion.Tags: iran, islam, Islamophobia, israel, Mark Steyn, Orthodox Jew, Sharia law, Strait of Hormuz, Victoria Jackson
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1. Mark Steyn is the leading fire-breathing Islamophobe in the conservative media. Granted, he is more reserved in his rhetoric than the likes of Victoria Jackson, but his stock in trade is still the idea that Muslims and Sharia law will insidiously overtake Western civilization unless we are proactive.
2. Religious extremism is religious extremism, whether it comes in the form of a woman being forced to marry her rapist, or in the form of a child being harassed for her insufficiently modest attire, or in the form of protesters at gay soldier’s funerals. No one would argue that Israel is not a progressive democracy, and it is clear that its people and government do not necessarily condone such demonstrations of religious intolerance. That’s not the point. The point is that Islam doesn’t hold some sort of monopoly on fundamentalist extremism.
3. Bill Maher is an equal-opportunity mocker of religious nonsense, whether Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or Pagan. To contend otherwise is itself, utter nonsense. Here, from one of my blogmate’s favorite conservative blog sites, Real Clear Politics, is a tape of Maher from his HBO “Real Time” show, where he says in no uncertain terms: All this talk of people who burn the Koran and nothing about the people who reacted in such a stupid way. We are always blaming the victim and not holding them — not most Muslims, but at least a large part of Muslim culture that doesn’t condemn their people,” Bill Maher said on his show “Real Time” Friday night.
“There is one religion in the world that kills you when you disagree with them and they say ‘look, we are a religion of peace and if you disagree we’ll fucking cut your head off,’” Maher said. “And nobody calls them on it — there are very few people that will call them on it.”
4. Gee, do you think the Iranians noticed that we still have a couple hundred thousand troops in Afghanistan?
BW
